I wish I was a poet, or could be one. I could have said so much, hide layers of meanings in few words. But then, I'm not. Heck, I'm not even a wordsmith. I'm just, well, a normal human (?) who craves to express artfully, but ends up scribbling another journal, piling among the countless existing ones.
They say life is dreaming about something you can't be, that lures you towards the dreams, for to be it, you should first dream it. That's true. But then, there are so many dreams which are born and die on a daily basis, sometimes even hourly basis. We kill a majority of them, citing wishful thinking. That's a God-given trait, for which we are more victim than guilty. It's in DNA. Anyway, I'm just going off somewhere else. Again, the incompetency bites me. I wish I had knew enough words so that I could avoid a lot of them, and pack my feelings in the most refined ones. But then, raw always has its beauty. That's again nature of the law. Although beauty pleases the eye, heart loves the raw, unrefined, unpolished, and simplicity of truth.
Ever since I have come to know the growing of a life inside me, a lot has changed and keeps changing. Sometimes I am elated, and next moment, it seems like 'my' life is over. Of course, a lot of it had been wishful thinking for which I was meticulously planning to tick off the list, the news of it has hung a huge block of load on it. I'm not blaming anybody, except for myself or destiny at times. Of course, it's a beginning to new leaf. But then, words of my husband keeps haunting me, few words which he said, which I'm not okay with, but strangely finding them to come true. I wish I could do more now. I know few months down the line, this same line of thought is going to occur. I just want to change that. There is a lot, in fact, I need to change. For the future. But in that effort, let me not slip through the present. Let me take one step at a time. Let me gather my thoughts. Otherwise, just like this rant, life won't make any sense. Neither to me, nor to the readers.
Let me learn the words, and the meaning of their silence.
